The Last Bachelor Post!

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EDITOR'S NOTE: We published the female perspective on Indian marriages previously (Reflections on Indian Marriage: The Journey Into The Unknown). Many of our readers were curious to know what goes on in a man's mind regarding it. So this time, we are sharing Sreeram's post here, written by him hardly 2 weeks before he got married last month! And here's wishing him, and his better half, from everyone in Kadzilla's Lounge, a Very Happy Married Life, full of trust and understanding, in good times and bad. Congratulations pal! :D

. . . . .

In less than a fortnight from now, it will all be over – the golden era of bachelorhood. It just struck me that I will then be speaking about these days in the past tense. In the last two months or so, I’ve been getting a lot of material in the form of mail forwards and messages on topics like “How to, be a good husband!”, “How to, keep your wife happy!”, “How, saying YES is always advantageous!” :P , “Why, NOT arguing is safer than self defense!” and so on. Not that I’m miffed, but every read of such a material reminds me of an approaching end.

We become what we eventually turn out to be, and friends play a very important role in that. Though I’ve had my share of crushes all through school life, it was in the summer of ’96 that I was told by a friend – “Don’t let the girls make a bro out of you… you never know what all they will make you do! Instead, do what we guys do!”

And thus began my tryst with flirting… so much of it, that I had no other go but to resort to un-flirting in order to unwind myself! ;) Girls who saw their bro in me, were avoided or asked to stay away… and those who showed an inclination to make something out of our ‘fraandships’ were advised and convinced into believing “Being just friends is so much fun!”

But then too much of anything sucks the life out of us. Same did happen with this un-flirting portfolio. There began that urge then to find that one perfect partner whom you could spend the rest of your life with. This ‘feeling of loneliness’ was self-confessed to mom in late ’08 which, surprisingly, was very well received, of course, after a few exchanges of dialogues.

Mom: “You are still very young… why so early?”

Me: “Well I thought it takes time to search a girl, in an arranged marriage. So, I… well… how about love marriage, then?”

Mom: “No no… I’ll search a girl for you. If you find a girl who can speak Konkani, then introduce her to me!”

Me (thought to myself, didn’t say): “So that means I need to ask the girl – ‘do you speak Konkani’ – before falling in love with her…?”

Me (to Mom again): “Oh! That is tough… it’s simpler for you to find me one…” (I get to see the “I WIN” grin on her face).

Well… the search that began early ’09 took well over a year… 15 months to be exact. I got my share of unmatched horoscopes all along… till this one with Su matched early July’10, the first one to do so. And oh! Arranged marriage is quite a procedure, and this is how I think it went in my case:

  1. The girl’s side received my horoscope (horror-scope?) through someone who knew both the parties (Note: There’s always such “someone”!)
  2. Horoscopes did match on the girl’s side, so they contacted my mom, who asked them to send across the girl’s horoscope.
  3. Mom received the girl’s horoscope, and asked me to confirm if I was indeed ready. A clear “YES”, she gets to hear. So it was posted to the astrologer.
  4. A week later, the astrologer called up to confirm that the horoscopes matched from our end too.
  5. Girl’s parents were informed, requesting them to send the girl’s photo, and asking them to check the guy’s picture on his Facebook profile (“He’s everywhere there!”)!
  6. I was later given her email ID, asking me to get in touch.

Then you know how it all would have gone from there! :D

Marriage shopping… phew… it’s one hell of a fun ride… never seems to get over, but eventually has to stop when the bank balance drains out! ;)

I came home with a tie in hand, showed it to granny… she asked me “how much did you pay for that?”

I replied “It cost me 1399 bucks, too much I now feel…” and she got all nostalgic… “You know, my entire marriage shopping was done with 500 rupees…including the jewelry!”

“Wow! 500! We don’t get 3 pairs of socks these days! By the way, what was the price of gold then?”

“32 per gram… very costly then!” she said rolling her eyes.

“Sigh! Wish I had a time machine now…”

As I look forward to this new phase in life, there’s this feeling of separation from that phase of life where I’d embraced irresponsibility, insanity, carelessness, aloofness, solitude, late nights, late mornings and laziness. And even though I know that I can still hold on to a few of these traits, I’ll miss the ones which I’ll need to let go of.
And well, some things just don’t change… like reporting to someone at home… only the boss changes, or if it goes worst – 2 bosses!! ;)

Spidey’s uncle had once said “With great power, comes great responsibility”… and I add, “… and so it does with marriage!” ;)

This is my last post… as a bachelor! :P
Co-incidentally, this also happens to be post #420 on my blog… so no more being a 420! ;)

Bachelor’s last words: If you are an electronics freak, buy all that you want to – before marriage – 'coz once you are hitched, you are done in. (unless she too happens to be one!)

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