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I love you.” A lot of people I know feel that saying these three words is the toughest job in the world. I felt so too, but, the other day, I realized, there’s another sentence that’s even tougher to say – “I am sorry.

I was invited to a seminar by a friend the other day. It was the last day of a four-day seminar, when the attendees of the program invited their family and friends. Almost all the attendees out there were people who had some or the other relationship trouble going on; be it their relationship with their parents, relationship with their spouse, relationship with their siblings, or relationship with the people at work.

People who attended the program came up one by one on the stage, and spoke about their problems and how the program changed it all. Although all these problems had different dynamics, there was one thing common in almost all their solutions – they all recognized that they were equally responsible for the relationship going bad and actually apologized for the hurt they had caused to the other person.

At the end of it, I was left completely amazed, and also thankful. Amazed, because, it takes guts to come out and speak the kind of stuff people there spoke about, and thankful, because, when I compared my life with theirs, I felt blessed.

On my way back home, I couldn’t help but subconsciously analyze all my relationships. When I looked at myself in my mental mirror, I saw a guy who people found pretty fun-loving, had a loving family, had friends who are as close as family, and had a pretty decent relationship with people at work. But were these relationships perfect? I wasn’t too sure.

As I was writing this post, my dad came up and started talking about some random stuff. Now I just hate it when someone disturbs me when I am writing. It just breaks the whole thought process and I have to re-write the whole thing. But, although I was angry, I couldn’t scream at him, so I just tried sounding as disinterested in the conversation as I could, hoping that he would get the hint and stop. Unfortunately though, he didn’t, and I had to tell him pretty rudely – “Dad, if you don’t mind, I am in the middle of something!” However, the damage had been done, and I had to abandon my post right there. I just shut my laptop off and went to sleep.

When I got up and my mood was OK, I realized what I did wasn’t right. It was now time to go into damage control. To mend things up, I tried being over sweet to him. I am not sure if I controlled the damage, but even after that, I didn’t feel good from within. I know it was a pretty small thing and both of us would forget about it within a few days and move on. But, dad was leaving for Delhi the next day, and I didn’t want him to go like this. So that night, I just went up to him, gave him a hug and said, “I am sorry for being rude.” He just smiled back and said, “You better be!” and started laughing.

We often leave things for time to heal, instead of apologizing – especially when it comes to our parents, our siblings, or our close friends – because we know they love us and will forget about it soon. Unfortunately though, they just move on and we feel they have forgotten, and somewhere within, it turns into a grudge. When I now look at my mental mirror, I can recall many of such instances, when I have been rude to the people I love, but haven’t accepted my mistake, because, my king size ego told me not to. In fact, when I now recall some of the arguments I have had with my mom, or dad, or my sisters, some of these “grudges” come out quite clearly.

I can’t undo any of my past mistakes, but there is one thing I can do – just go ahead and say “I am sorry for all the hurt I have caused to you” to all the people who mean the world to me. It may or may not heal the wounds, but it will get a baggage off my shoulders for sure. Like I said in the beginning, it’s not easy to say I am sorry, but it’s something that has to be done.

And to all my friends who are reading this, if I have ever hurt you in anyway, I am Sorry.

P.S. - Do give your opinion on the subject, and if any of you DO decide to go ahead and say sorry to your loved ones, do let me know.

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