Why India needs Octopus Paul...

Pin It

The 2010 edition of the FIFA World Cup is already over and done with. But what still remains as the hot topic of news channels around the world is not the Spanish Captain, Casillas, lifting aloft the golden trophy. Neither is it the all so public but rather private little interview with his news-reporter-girlfriend, just as the Spanish team landed in Spain.

It is, in fact, the now-world-famous German with psychic powers. Octopus Paul is now as famous, if not more, than any footballer who participated in the 2010 World Cup.

Picture Credit: Wikipedia

Having predicted with utmost accuracy, the results of the most important of matches, the psychic mollusk became the hero of all of Spain, while becoming an eye-sore for others who lost en route. Having put his very existence in great danger, by a possibility of it being served as dinner in Germany, and being in great demand by the Dutch as well, Paul is, for now, safely enjoying his celebrity status in the aquarium at the Sea Life Center in Oberhausen, Germany.

Which makes one wonder how Paul could be put to some great use, were he to be brought to India. The following are some of the possible uses of Paul’s abilities that India can surely do with.

* Paul can be hired by the Indian Meteorological Department to predict monsoon trends and general weather conditions across the country. Looking at the IMD’s past records, it would really bring some credibility to weather forecasts.

* The BSE (or is it the Mumbai Stock Exchange now ??) can use Paul’s services to great benefits. At least one would find more consistent trends in the stock market predictions, which rise and fall to events like the results of an election or even Team India failing miserably in the world cup!

* Talking of elections, Paul’s services can be used by political parties to select potential election winners, to save themselves the embarrassment of fielding candidates who are of no use. (Though, I wonder if those who eventually win are of any use too !)

* Families of prospective brides and grooms can use Paul to ensure whether their marriage is full of good fortune or not. Paul can be used to pick out the correct ‘janmpatri’ and thus finalize a match. (Can be of great use to a certain moronic Rahul Mahajan, who will be able to find out which of his marriages would stretch longer than the others!)

* The Indian cricket board (BCCI) can do away with the useless group of selectors, and pass on the job of selecting the Indian cricket team to Paul. Surely then no one would have any objection to the team selected by Paul.

* Once in India, Paul can endorse all the products being advertised on the telly. At least it would be more consistent than the form of cricketers or movie stars.

* Paul can be effectively used as a fourth ‘life-line’ in the upcoming season four of KBC.

* The Indian Railways can abandon the train arrival-departure-information system, and let Paul be in charge. (It would surely save a lot of time for passengers!)

* Paul can be the best friend of students across India in predicting the probable questions for every examination. Would surely save them a lot of tiresome guess work and the heart break in examination halls.

* Committed couple would no longer need the services of an ‘Emotional Atyachar’ on TV to check the commitment of their partners. One visit to ‘Paul the Great’ would do the trick.

The above were only a few of the factors that make Paul such a necessity in India. But, I guess, Paul already knows his future if he were to come to India.

Picture Credit: Google Images

Pin It

Get FREE updates automatically
Follow RSS Twitter FaceBook


Post a Comment


© 2010-2015 · All rights reserved with Kadzilla's Lounge.

Concept, design, layout, graphics and template by Kasin Websoft.