Debt to Debt....

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Case Study #1 :

A small and happy Indian family. A husband, his wife and their son. The parents ensure the best possible upbringing of their son. The son completes his studies, doing exceedingly well all through. He gets a job overseas and hence migrates abroad. He works hard and well enough to get much more than a decent salary. He uses his finances to get his parents a beautiful villa back in India with all the luxuries possible, including servants, drivers, etc. He sends them a hefty cheque every month and calls them once a week.

A few years later, when his father suggests him to return, he explains that his job abroad is a must for them to have a good life. And also that he wouldn’t be able to adjust in India again. But he ensures that his parents are well cared for.

Case Study #2 :

A similar small and happy Indian family. A husband, his wife and their son. The parents ensure the best possible upbringing of their son. The son completes his studies, doing exceedingly well all through. He gets a decent job in their town itself, and so the family lives happily together.

A few months into the job, the son falls in love with a girl colleague. But their families have completely different backgrounds. The girl’s family is strictly against their marriage. The guy, hence, gives up his love and decides to marry a girl of his family’s choice for the sake of his parents’ wish to have a daughter-in-law.

. . .

The above two scenarios, though completely different, are a common occurrence in the Indian society. Most often than not, you will find young boys and girls taking steps to ensure proper care and well being of their parents, while also ensuring priority to their parents’ wishes. Something which is really heart-warming to find all around us.

But a deeper understanding of such actions provides evidence to a much heavier basis to the above attitudes.

In the first scenario above, the son was more concerned about his parents being well cared for, while in the second scenario, the son put his parents’ wishes on priority. And if you ask anyone, neither of them would be doing any wrong on their parts. In fact, both are being the good sons anyone could ask for.

But in most cases, (surely not all) the reason behind such a caring attitude of children towards their parents is because they seem to realize the great debt they owe to their parents. As per my experiences, people tend to care for their parents in order to repay that debt. You will most often hear someone say, “My parents have done so much for me. So I can’t be selfish. I have to care for them too.”

What I don’t understand here is that do parents care for their little kids so that they can pile on that debt on them which could be retrieved later in life ???

Obviously NO ! Parents do whatever they do for their kids because they love their kids more than anything. So where does this debt thing comes in between… ???

Suppose a guy has to borrow some money from a money-lender in some unfavorable times. He can always repay that debt once he has enough money of his own. But how can one even expect to repay the debt of one’s parents by any of his or her actions ??? In fact, considering the unconditional love of one’s parents as a debt is, in a way, reducing it to something cheap and materialistic.

And if one is adamant enough to consider it as a debt, then it is absolutely certain that such a debt can never be repaid by any action. Even if one lives for a million years earning a zillion bucks per hour !!! And he will surely take this forward to the next generation, onto his kids. Which usually happens later in life. People who believe in this ‘debt’ business towards their parents are the ones who cut deals for their children’s happiness later in return.

Why can’t people love their parents instead of trying to repay some debt all their lives? Our parents will never ask us for sacrifices in return for any ‘debt’. In fact, they won’t even ask for care or affection. It is actually onto the children to have real feelings for their parents which comes from within. Not due to any obligations.

The real happiness our parents have is through seeing us happily leading a good life and by us being with them. No amount of money or sacrifices would give any happiness to our parents if they see us unhappy or don’t see us at all.

I hope people would understand that they should care for their parents out of their love for them. Not because of trying to repay any debt.

We care for our parents because we love them.
Not because we have to...

Pictures Credit: Google Images

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A Restless Mind With A Sensitive Heart! said...

Shobhit, liked the idea! But now a days children have gone one step ahead. They think that it was their parents' duty to bring their children up in the best possible manner. why should they feel obliged?!

Its only love that can bind children these days. With a lot of financial freedom youngsters enjoy today, parents hardly stand a chance of attention from their children. Only the families where strong ties of affection exist can survive this tide.

absolutely right, no one and nothing can pay back the love of parents.


August 11, 2010 at 2:04 PM
Kaddu said...

I wonder if Shobhit has already subscribed to the comments on his post! Will notify him abt the pending reply on this one.

August 11, 2010 at 2:10 PM
Shobhit said...

Thanks for commenting.

Debt to parents or duty towards children are both utterly ridiculous concepts one can have. But unfortunately, just as you said, these days people seem to care about these two words... 'Debt' and/or 'Duty'.

Should we thus believe that in older days or earlier generations, parents received attention from their children just because the children weren't financially fre ???

You are very right in pointing out the financial aspect of it too, which is very much the case with people today. For them money is bigger than anything else.

For me, one shouldn't even have to search for something to bind. It all comes from within.

Thanks too Kaddu, for notifying me of the comment. :)

August 11, 2010 at 7:29 PM

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